but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We left an ass print on the piano.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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