there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
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