I didn't shave. On purpose
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
