Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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