she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Pooping to opera.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
