This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
