You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
