the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize