....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
