I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
