well most of my day revolves around power hour
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Randomize
