I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
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