and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
