Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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