Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
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