he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
