for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Oh god it's open bar.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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