Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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