And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
