He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
