I'm eating all of the evidence.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
