Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
