I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize