Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
