I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
