Nicole vs. Life
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
