john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
