u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I think i peed on brittanys purse
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
