Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
