Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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