Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
