This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
