how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize