Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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