I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
you never un-have a 4some
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
