I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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