So drunk its hurt
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
