my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
