right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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