i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
