Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
