dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
