your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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