Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
