She said her name was "party"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize
