I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
