Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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