Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
