community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
His hands were made for my vagina.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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