I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
