It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
no you cant smoke seaweed
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
