Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
