We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
i think im in europe. pls send help
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
