I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
