She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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