I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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