Your dad touched me again.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You pole danced in your parka.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
3 2 1 whiskey
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
