69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
