Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
