He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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