with your own penis?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
