Kiss
Puke
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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