Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
