Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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