I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
