you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
