I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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