afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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